Hello, stepparents. I’m thrilled to be spending this time with you. Today I’d love to explore some common fears in stepparenting.
I’m sure you probably have a million things running through your mind right now. Perhaps you are reminiscing about the beginning of your stepparenting journey and remembering what that was like for you.
Talk about being thrown into the deep end! Am I right?
My partner and I dated for a few months, quite seriously, before I ever met my kiddo.
And all along I remember thinking what a serious responsibility it would be if I were to be a part of her life.
I had millions of questions and worries.
At the top of the list was …
Am I really READY to Be a Stepparent?
There was the responsibility and relationship with my future stepchild to consider. But, also, the dynamics of my then boyfriend and his ex – my stepdaughter’s bio-mom. Not to mention the extended family members. Everyone adored my stepdaughter. And, I knew, each has opinions and ideas about what to do and how to do it.
If those considerations weren’t significant enough, I had to confront my own demons of parenting misses I had experienced in childhood. I wanted to be sure to do things differently during my turn at bat.
Repeating My Parents’ Mistakes in My Stepparenting – My Biggest Fear … and What I Did about It.
This fear was so great, in fact, that … I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but …
I actually pointed out to my then boyfriend all my flaws and reasons why he should go and find a good role model for his daughter who is better suited for the challenge, instead of wasting his time with me.
Yup … I actually said those words exactly.
And to my surprise in response, he gave me the most encouraging and best piece of advice that I’ve ever received. He looked me earnestly in the eyes and said, “Because you’ve experienced what was painful and what you didn’t like, is exactly why you will be a great parent. Because you already know what not to do.”
Upon hearing that and letting it wash over me for a few days, I made a choice to not only accept the role, but I promised myself to really show up. I will do another episode on what it means show up soon.
My road with stepparenting has had many twists, turns, certainly tons of challenges. But I have not only learned so much about myself and life lessons, I’ve also gained incredible relationships along the way and discovered deeper and more fulfilling happiness than I thought was possible.
The truth is that, yes, the responsibility is great. But if you’re up for truly showing up … the rewards, growth, impact, and lessons are incredible and will very likely be some of the most powerful lessons you’ll experience.
And look, you don’t have to do it alone or suffer years of frustration and heartache!
Grab a Rapid Resolution Session at www.synergisticstepparenting.com/rr to clear up the pesky fears holding you back and powerfully step into your right role creating harmony and joy for you and your blended family.
After all, it all starts with just taking the first step and saying “yes”.
I hope you found this episode helpful. Drop me a line and tell me what you think, I’d love to hear from you!
Until next time, be well!
Related Episodes:
How Will You Meet Your Stepchild’s Constant Demands?
Stepparenting Feels Like A Culture Clash
Abuse And My Stepparenting Story
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