Hello stepparents! Welcome back to another episode of the Synergistic Stepparenting podcast. I’m your host, Maria Natapov, Stepparenting Coach and Strategist.
A few weeks ago, I shared on social media that the Synergistic Stepparenting podcast celebrated its half-birthday! In celebration of this milestone, we wanted to share our top two most downloaded episodes with you. For those of you who are new listeners and haven’t gotten the chance to catch up on older episodes yet, we want to make sure you don’t miss out on these absolute gems.
First, I would like to share a sincere thanks to you for listening and spending your precious time with us. I am so touched by this gift you’ve given me that I would like to give you something in return. I invite you to get your FREE e-book called 4 Steps to Start Transforming Family Chaos into Harmonious Co-Parenting, which features several powerful tools to get you immediate results.
The other thing I’m inviting you to do is hit “like” and “subscribe” to this podcast on your favorite streaming app so you never miss a thing.
And now, without further ado, I present to you our runner-up MVP episode: The #1 Cause Of Disconnect In Your Stepparenting. Enjoy!
The #1 Cause of Disconnect in Your Stepparenting
Hello stepparents! In this episode, I’ll be delving into a topic that I’ve found to be the cornerstone of most things in life. I call it showing up.
Take a moment and ask yourself:
- Have you ever felt like you can’t seem to say or do the right thing?
- Does it feel like everything you say is causing more conflict and aggravation?
- Does there seem to be a disconnect with your spouse, your stepchild, or members of your blended family?
When this happens, it feels incredibly frustrating, painful, and isolating. Well, the root cause might simply be that you’re not showing up.
I know what you’re thinking… GASP. How dare you? But, before you shut off your radio, computer, iPhone, or whatever device you’re listening on—please, let me explain!
What It Really Means to “Show Up”
For a long time, I thought showing up meant just that: physically getting myself somewhere.
I’m sure many of you have heard the famous quote by Woody Allen, who said, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” Or perhaps you’ve heard other iterations of it, such as, “Showing up is half the battle.”
But after years of trying that, I noticed that my results weren’t as good. It felt as if something was missing. Even though I was physically present, things weren’t quite landing in conversations, and the meaningful connections I craved weren’t being made.
My desire to understand and figure it out swelled. I built more awareness around these instances and reflected on my actions and outcomes. Then, a light bulb went off. Though I was physically present, I wasn’t actually showing up. Not the way I wanted to.
I wasn’t showing up by bringing ALL of me to the table.
As I began to deepen my knowledge and understanding of this concept, I discovered that everything in our world is energy—including you and me. I believe that energy is incredibly powerful when it’s activated and directed towards a specific purpose and goal. When you intentionally concentrate your energy towards something, whether wanted or unwanted, it heavily influences the results you achieve.
So, when I was struggling to communicate a proposed solution for a new project at work, or when I was helping my stepdaughter problem-solve an issue with a friend, the reason I was having a hard time was because I wasn’t fully engaged in the experience. I’m talking mind, body, and soul.
Typically, I tend to be a very passionate person. People have often told me how magnetic I am when I’m in my element and speaking about a topic that is close to my heart. My energy has even been described as contagious! But I’ll admit, I have trouble conjuring up that much fervor for topics I’m not as devoted to (such as offensive foot odor and fashion tips on braiding back-hair).
When you’re not completely engaged, you tend to go into autopilot—which your brain is naturally wired to do.
What Does It Take to Fully Show Up?
I learned that there are two major factors to truly showing up in your stepparenting communication:
- First: Approach every opportunity with curiosity. Prioritize the goal of understanding. Whether that means understanding the other person more, or understanding where your own feelings about the situation are coming from, always start with curiosity.
- Second: Respond from the heart. Engage your entire being with the whole situation. This requires deep vulnerability and a willingness to be open.
It’s not surprising that you don’t often show up this way because it requires more of your already taxed energy! This is especially true at the beginning when you are just starting to train yourself to do things in a new way.
However, showing up fully has been the number one reason I’ve been able to create the best results for myself, my loved ones, and my VIP clients. When I show up like that, I’m able to access all of my gifts—both my intuitive ones and my acquired skills—to problem-solve to the best of my ability and support them in the process.
I invite you to give this a bit more thought and to look for opportunities to show up completely by bringing all of you to the table. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
Related Episodes:
- How to Have Difficult Stepparenting Conversations
- Best Stepchild Communication Technique
- Get Out of the Stepparenting Autopilot Grind
Enjoying the show? Here is how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts:
- Open the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.
- Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.
- On the show page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”
- Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.”
If you like what you hear, please give us a 5-star rating! Let us and others know what you love about the show.