Hello stepparents! In episode 4 I discussed what it means to fully show up. Find the show notes for that episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/4. Today I’m going to explore this concept a bit further and discuss what gets in the way of showing up fully.
In the beginning of my stepparenting journey there were lots of events and new players in the cast of characters that I had to meet.
I remember being really nervous because it was very important to me to get off on the right foot with family and close friends.
For years I would show up with mixed results.
Sometimes, I would show up and it seemed like I would get infected by this energy that lifted me up and took me on a ride of being present where everything felt easy, effortless, and smooth. I felt confident and comfortable.
After this type of experience, I would feel rejuvenated. It felt almost like a zing of life pulsating throughout my entire being. Like I could feel the source of vitality coursing through me.
And then there were other times when everything felt like a chore. The timing of my interactions just felt off – either forced or awkward. I felt tense. And there was a lurking frustration that something about the environment was bringing on a low-grade headache.
Interestingly, I noticed that when I didn’t want to attend something because I felt drained or wasn’t feeling well, but attended anyway, things often worked out well and I had a wonderful time.
I would walk away feeling renewed and energized, finding value in the interactions and experiences and generally grateful for the impressions I was taking away with me.
After years of observations, I wondered … what contributes to whether I have a great experience or a negative one?
I thought about this carefully for a while. I realized that what it boils down to is commitment. And there are 3 major components to making decisions with commitment …
1. Be Intentional
Make the choice with intention. Meaning, don’t ignore your reservations, negative feelings and worries and simply push them aside. Instead, take your time to work through them.
While making your decision, consider and weigh the pros and cons.
You can make yourself crazy thinking about all the What If‘s. STOP.
I realized that even though I wasn’t feeling well, or was too tired, or had too much going on to attend an event … when I would attend anyway, I was making a choice to let go of resistance. And it felt liberating.
Making a choice is powerful because with that you choose to surrender. And when you surrender, you are no longer bogged down by mixed feelings and emotions about the options and which one is best.
With that comes clarity which frees up your energy and creates ease because you’re no longer caught in the swirl of choices.
Once you’ve made up your mind, make peace with what you discovered and your decision.
3. Don’t Wait to Decide
Make the decision with time to spare. The benefit is you’ll have time to mentally prepare for what’s coming which relieves anxiety and overwhelm. This way you can spend your precious time on creating a plan rather than wasting it floundering.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed about a big decision, schedule a Rapid Resolution Session at synergisticstepparenting.com/rr to break free of the thought patterns that aren’t serving you and gain clarity.
Remember, it starts with getting rid of the resistance by making the commitment to move towards ease and joy.
Give these steps a try as you make an important choice in your stepparenting journey and please let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear from you!
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