Ep 61 – Balancing Stepparenting and Parenting Dynamics

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Hey Stepparents,

I’m excited to bring to you highlights from my conversation where Allison Dagney interviewed me about the dynamics between a stepparent and a parent and how to navigate these differences to best support the kids.

Allison is a covert abuse survivor, author of When Tears Leave Scars – her personal memoir – and a rapid reprogramming coach for others who have been through the painful experience of emotional abuse.

In this episode we discuss seeing the stepparent as a source of support, the value of the stepparent’s perspective, being transparent with kids about flaws, and loyalty binds. 

Get comfy and settle in for this conversation where we share insights and anecdotes about how we’ve navigated this tricky balance in our blended families. It’ll be worth the listen.

Introducing Allison K. Dagney

Allison Dagney lives in the Midwest of the United States with her three children and their beloved rescue dog.

Allison never aspired to be an author or a coach, but her love of writing paired with an inspirational story, was the perfect recipe to expose hidden emotional abuse and help others.

When Tears Leave Scars, is her gripping true-life story, where Allison aims to shed light into the darkest areas of abusive relationships while giving victims of abuse a beacon of hope and a roadmap for healing.

Through sharing her own personal story, Allison hopes to expose the insidiousness of covert emotional abuse.

Victims and survivors alike are the inspiration behind the book and her coaching business. Allison is raising awareness and helping others heal from their emotional wounds. It is Allison’s core belief that everyone can find the inner peace, relief and emotional empowerment that she herself has discovered!

Find the show notes for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/61.

Here we go …

>> [6:58] Stepparents aren’t replacing the parents, they are additional support
>> [11:20] Set a positive intention from all angles
>> [13:38] The value and skill of taking in the stepparent’s perspective
>> [17:18] Why it’s critical to be transparent with kids about your flaws
>> [18:22] Children’s loyalty binds
>> [23:22] Don’t speak ill of your stepchild’s/child’s caregivers
>> [27:27] Don’t stifle children from being their authentic self

Click to listen!

Thank you so much for joining us for this conversation about what the role of a stepparent can be and all the contributing factors that can make or break the delicate balance of creating a nurturing dynamic.

The Recap

To recap, we discussed …

  1. Seeing the stepparent as a source of support
  2. The value of the stepparent’s perspective
  3. Being transparent with kids about flaws
  4. Children’s loyalty binds

I am grateful to Allison for her insightful questions and for allowing us to peak behind the curtain as she shared some of her own personal anecdotes around this sensitive topic.

Action Items

Set aside some uninterrupted time in a quiet space to sit with and identify your biggest “Aha” from this episode. Is there a particular tip that jumped out at you that you recognized is your most acute struggle right now?

If so, what small action can you commit to regularly for the next week, to move the needle on it? I’d love to hear about it, so go ahead a shoot me a DM on Facebook @marianatapov or on LinkedIn @synergisticstepparenting and let me know.

And, please share this episode with a stepparent and divorced parent! By doing so, you’re helping other stepfamilies get helpful tips and stop feeling so alone and helping us with our mission of supporting stepparents, like you, and their blended families to turn family challenges into opportunities to thrive.  

Until next time, be well!

Click here to listen!

Rate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts

“Tons of value in this episode, love and appreciate your authenticity in all of your content.” If you like the show, please consider rating and reviewing us. This gives us the ability to reach and help more stepparents – like you – move towards the life and relationships that they desire with their blended clan.

Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate us with 5 stars, and select “Write a Review” then be sure to let me know your favorite thing about the episode.

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Links to Allison:

Allison’s book: https://www.amazon.com/When-Tears-Leave-Scars-Emotional-ebook/dp/B08XF9FBF4

Allison’s page: https://whentearsleavescars.com/

Related Episodes:

Stepparenting Through a Bio-Parent’s Lens

Dealing with a Difficult Bio-Parent

Are You Ready to be a Stepparent?