Hello Stepparents! Welcome back. In an earlier episode, How to Stay Sane as a Stepparent, I discussed developing a routine to sustain you through difficult times. Find the show notes for that episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/7.
Today, I’m diving deeper into the key aspects to consider and include when creating such a routine.
When developing practices and habits that help you to find the calm and stay there, here are some things to consider …
1. Create Space for Your Emotions
Give your emotions a chance to be heard. Allow them to come without judgement and without trying to push them away.
All emotions are valid. It’s important to create space for them. Even the ones that feel unpleasant.
Otherwise, it’s like building pressure in a pressure cooker – if there’s no release, sooner or later it’s going to burst.
2. Move Your Body Out of Negativity
Often, in addition to having an emotional response, you experience a physical response to frustrating situations and events. There is an actual chemical reaction taking place in your body at these times.
So allow yourself to physically move through and out of it. This will help to change the inner pH levels to neutralize the system overall.
So get up and run, exercise, do yoga, swim, dance, punch some pillows, scream. It’s like letting out steam from a pressure cooker. Doing something physical that’s high energy, will allow the physical build-up to release.
3. Step into a New Scene
Stepping into a new environment will quickly make you feel differently and help to gain a new perspective. Or at least it will allow you to hit pause on negative spiraling feelings to help find a way to move towards more productive ways of handling things.
Go into a different room. Maybe you like it because of the way the sunlight spills into the room or because it has your favorite chair or a view of your garden or trees.
Go outside. Fresh air is wonderful for calming the central nervous system. Also, the scenery, scent, and sounds will all take your mind away to a new place and offer reprieve from the frustrating event and heightened emotions.
Going to a coffee shop or another favorite spot is another great option.
4. Do Something you Love that Makes you Feel Good
What’s your thing? Maybe it’s dancing, singing, drawing, reading, going for a walk, going for a swim. It doesn’t matter what it is. What matters, is that you feel good doing it.
Doing something you love will be naturally soothing and will quickly put you into a new energy switching up how you feel.
5. Have Fun
Throw caution to the wind!
Doing something silly or entertaining is a great way to get out of a funk. Rather than sulk, go out to a trampoline park, go bowling, play lazer tag or mini golf.
Doing fun activities will quickly get you out of a bad mood. Plus, these are great opportunities to instead create some bonding with the kids and your partner. Connection is an instent mood-lifter.
6. Soothe Your Senses
Take a bubble bath, shower, get a message, do some scent therapy with essential oils, listen to soothing sounds, drink a cold beverage or a hot tea.
Soothing your nervous system by changing up the sensations you are experiencing is very effective and gives your mind something else to focus on. Allowing the mind a chance to calm down and reset.
7. Process the Experience a Different Way
Journaling is a great way to process what happened because the act of writing forces you to slow down and pay attention to your thoughts as they come.
Writing about your experience involves other parts of your brain in processing the experience and moves you faster into working through it. It also helps to create more harmony between your logical and primitive mind.
Give these a try and let me know how it goes for you. I’d love to hear from you!
If you put a routine into place and you find that you still have strong emotions that highjack your mind and play on repeat, book a Rapid Resolution Session with me at synergisticstepparenting.com/rr.
It’s a fantastic way to get out of emotional stuck-ness and move into clarity and peace by shutting down unhelpful thought tapes that drain your energy.
Until next time, be well!
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